There are some people that you are never going to have a conversation with, but you know that person is friends with a lot of the people you hang out with. There is one thing that I have learned through my relationships with these people; the only interaction you have with them is the greeting (you usually tend to not say goodbye to these people unless it’s at a small gathering.) So, when greeting them, appear overly excited to see them, but do not cross the line of excitement into annoyance. There is a fine line between the two. If its guy-to-guy, give a little boxing move or something. If it’s guy-to-girl, then give her a hug that includes you picking them up an inch or so off the ground. Remember, this is entirely personal to you. A universal, overly-excited greeting does not exist because everyone’s relationship is unique in its own way. The advantage to this can be seen when you are overly excited to see someone, and then in the future they become overly excited to see you as well. So, when you show up to an event where these people are and you are going around saying hello to them, the people who don’t know you but are observing you see that everyone is overly excited to see you. Genius, I know.

My 21st birthday celebration was one of the happiest days of my life. My brother threw me a grand surprise party. I was told that I was going to Chili’s with my closest friends. After being at the restaurant with my friends they were going to blindfold me and take me somewhere else. Before my brother misled me to believe they were going to take me to a strip club, get a huge fat stripper to put her ass in my face. Now one of two things was going to happen when they took off the blindfold: I was either going to be extremely repulsed or ecstatic, depends how much I drank by then. Honestly I was so gullible at the moment or maybe a bit hung over that I went with it. While I was blindfolded they led me into my house unknowingly; faked a scenario with a bouncer at the door to check my ID; put some loud stripper music on; and lifted my blindfold to reveal all my friends inside my house. I have never been more surprised in my life.

At this moment, I honestly had no idea what to do. I walked towards the hallway to see even more people in the living room because they all couldn’tfit through the front door. I was completely in shock and everyone was staring at me. Understandably, I had no idea what to do. I was overwhelmed, but I did see my mom peeking out of her room. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, but I went over there and gave her a hug, I guess it was from the happiness I was experiencing. Seriously, it was the best decision I have ever made.

I was extremely drunk and a little emotional so my eyes began to get a bit watery. When the girls at the party saw me tearing from happiness right after I hugged my mom, they ate it up. I would never forget what a couple girls said to me, “You should give up that whole asshole thing you do all the time and play the sensitive card more often; it’s a better look for you.”

The thing is that I am never an asshole to anyone, but since I avoid the nice guy persona they assume that I am. I go out of my way to be nice to strangers and while my patience has been tested multiple times I maintain my composure.I have passed with flying colors. Unfortunately, I care about what people think; although people think that I don’t. Nice Guys need to avoid common mistakes they make without noticing. One that is commonly done is continually asking for permission. You are an adult. Be assertive. Don’t ask simply state. “We’re going on a date.” as opposed to “Will you go out on a date with me?”

Little things like that add up and can affect a person’s opinion of you. As much as people say they don’t assume and judge, we all do. Another mistake we make is forgiving too easily. Yes, it’s nice to be there for someone, but when you always put an effort towards a relationship or friendship and the other person takes it for granted it will impact you negatively. There is something that I learned from hip-hop, and if I learned it earlier in my life then I would be a lot more successful than I am now. –The power behind the word SWERVE.

The word swerve, as defined by Urban Dictionary, means to dismiss or to say no to a request. Personally, I use it when someone gets me angry and I no longer want to deal with his or her presence. You only live the life you live, so why spend it with people contributing nothing but negativity to yours? Have the power to say no to someone who has let you down. Forgiveness is fine, but never forget their actions towards you. Use it to your advantage. Make sure that, when someone does something that upsets you, you let them know how much it bothered you. Stand your ground. Consider whether they are worth the headache or not.

Another common trait of the nice guy persona is holding back your tongue. Some people tend to hold back what they have to say because they are scared their contribution to the conversation isn’t going to be noteworthy. Stop overthinking it and join in on the fun. Believe me, you’ve heard someonesay something dumb, laughed about it for a couple seconds, then completely forgot about it. Quit overthinking everything and just do it!

As I said before, I honestly care what people think, but I would never let them know that. I guess it’s ironic because now I am letting them know that. Stop worrying about what people think of you and just do You. Remember, they are just another person in this world, and for all you know they won’t be in your life the next day, week, month, or year. Stop walking on eggshells and being overly concerned with what you have to say and do. You need to completely cut out the idea of contributing something not worthy. Consider your presence a blessing to all that you communicate with.

You should put in more than you take from this world. Honestly though, do you know why the asshole gets the girl? It’s because they don’t give a shit about what people think, and they live a way more exciting life. Nice Guys aren’t really doing that. You need to stop being the nice and boring person and start being the bold and spontaneous human being you were always meant to

I am not the smartest person in the world, but a skill I do have is common sense. My observations are logical and practical. For example, dating when young is dumb. Why? Let’s just weigh out the pros and cons. When you are single you are more likely to go out, meet new people, network, go on dates with different people, switch up your social circle, and step out of your comfort zone. When dating someone, who you may love, you are comfortable and less likely to do things that require work. For example, a couple is already home and they get invited to a party. How many times do you think that couple turns down the opportunity to be interactive with human beings just to stay home and watch Netflix?

Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, you meet someone at 20, you guys are on and off for 10 years to marry at 30. Just for arguments sake we’ll say you live up to 100, not including the unfortunate circumstance of one of you passing away before the other. That means you have spent the majority, 75 years or so, of your life with this person! Be young and reckless. Experience things that you can only experience while you are young and filled with life! Don’t do something you are going to be able to do when your youth has passed you by.

I am not an enemy of love, as I truly believe it exists. What I never seem to understand is how people spend their whole entire life with one person. People who meet the “woman or man of their lives” without having any other person to compare it too are impossible for me to understand. How can you truly be in love with someone when you haven’t even experienced half the life that you’re able to live? I am not saying to end things if you are in a relationship. What I am advising is for you to take a break. Have sometime for yourself to experience new things, and when the time is right and you have done some soul searching/character development, if you still feel the same, give it another try.

The lives men and women live are very different and unfair. Yes, women now have the right to vote, and, for Christ’s sake, we almost had a female president, but the unfortunate truth is that the majority of men would never look at women equally. I love women. I truly respect each and every one of them, but my outlook on life gives me the opportunity to see things that other people don’t.

Yes, I have heard it a million times before, “why is it okay for a guy to go around having sex with a bunch of girls and for him to be called a pimp or player, but when a girl does it she is called a whore or slut?” The best answer that I’ve heard to that question is that a key that opens up many locks is a master key, but a lock that opens for many keys is just a shitty lock. I believe in that, but there is more to it.

I was speaking amongst my friends during the production of this book, and the question was asked what type of woman do I find to be a whore? Well, to start, I don’t believe it is fair that men can have sex with whomever they want and it is okay,while for women it’s the opposite.Sex is something that has been around for as long as men and women have been around. What I can’t stand are those no-good deadbeats that stay home all day watching T.V, smoking weed, browsing Facebook, pretty much not doing anything with his or her life besides hang out with their peers and talk bad about these so called “whores.”

When do I find it appropriate to call a woman a whore? Never. Even though there are some situations that make me reconsider it. If a woman is independent, makes her own money, pays her own bills, and doesn’t have time for a boyfriend because she is trying to take care of herself before she even thinks about taking care of a significant other, does she qualify as a “whore” because she slept with someone she isn’t dating? These are the women I fall for. They know what they need to do, have their lives prioritized, and know what path to take to get where they want to go. Now, those girls who go around Facebook adding guys they find cute, responding to every creepy person who pokes them, and spend hours upon hours going around liking random guys’ pictures, I won’t get angry if you defame this person’s character. She brought it upon herself.

Just hear me out for a second. Let’s say [College/High school Girl] meets [College/High school Boy] at a party. They get along great and have some drinks with good conversation. First night, she doesn’t put out because she doesn’t want to be called a slut (which only makes the guy like her more) so she gives him her number in hopes of starting something mutually beneficial. [Boy] adds [Girl] on Facebook and does the background check to find out she has a clean record. No keg stand pictures, half-naked pictures, and especially no passed-out wasted pictures. He likes a couple of photos, texts her in the morning so they talk throughout the whole day, then asks her to a casual lunch or dinner. [Girl] accepts. Now she doesn’t want to be considered a slut so she holds out for a couple of weeks and claims that she doesn’t have sex unless it’s a boyfriend. [Boy] has been on a long cold streak, so eventually he falls into her trap. Personally, I believe this is how most relationships start, and the longer they have been with each other, the longer they will stay with each other because the sex is getting better and they are becoming more comfortable with each other. This is a great situation for [Girl] because she is having as much sex as she wants without being called a slut because it’s her boyfriend (yes, girls who are dating have way more sex with their boyfriend than booty calls have with each other.) [Boy] doesn’t mind because he is getting laid all of the time and getting “maximal pleasure, minimal effort.” Now 4 years went by. College/High School is over, and you spent the majority of your prime single life dating each other. The time in your life where you are supposed to meet the most people and interact with them you spent with your “significant other.” Now you are programmed this way, and it is next to impossible to undo. Your dating prime is behind you, and without that experience, it is going to make the rest of your social life more difficult.

Now let’s say we live in an alternate universe, and the relationship only goes on for about 2 months. After a month of talking, they date to only break up a month after. After the break up, [Girl] goes on a singles rampage for 2 weeks and then slows down. She meets someone she likes and starts the whole ordeal all over. That means each relationship, including introduction, talking, honeymoon stage, and break up, takes about 3 months. That puts her at 4 boyfriends a year and 16 boyfriends in 4 years of school (most of my friends don’t even have 10 sexual partners). Does this make [Girl] a slut? Every one of her partners was a boyfriend, and she waited till she dated them before she finally gave in. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out. It just takes the right perspective.

The word “whore” and “slut” are out of my vocabulary. Okay, so to her peers she might be considered “loose,” but to that random guy that just met her she might seem like Ms. Perfect. You might end up being that random guy. Everyone has a closet filled with skeletons. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

                I once had a friend who had the worst fashion sense ever. He was terrible at matching his outfits, and his selection was just awful. But he always tried. One day, he got his tax returns and got a lot of money that he never thought he’d see again. So, what did he do with it? He bought himself 7 different colored 3 piece suits. Now, everywhere he goes he wears a suit. Even when we are hanging out at a house just watching a Miami Heat game, you can count on him being in a suit. There is one thing I have learned from him: it is better to be over-dressed than under-dressed. 

I personally don’t go out and wear suits everyday, but whenever I leave my place, I look at the mirror to make sure that I look as fly as possible. If you don’t know how to dress yourself, do some research. It’ll better you as a person and make you look more intriguing, which leads to people being more likely to approach you. I understand that not all of us can go out and spend thousands of dollars on a new wardrobe, but there are ways around it. Do some research, buy a magazine of GQ, and replicate the look at any department store. Forever 21™, Zara™, Express™, H&M™, and online stores like www.jackthreads.com™ are great, affordable examples.

I used to believe that shoes were the least important part of the outfit because when you’re talking to someone, you should never look down (you should be keeping eye contact!). Thanks to my older brother, I realized how wrong I was. When a woman checks out your outfit, she starts at the shoes and moves her way up. The shoes are actually the first thing most women look at. I understand that most of us don’t have the luxury of being able to afford a new pair of shoes for each outfit, but there are ways around that. Every man should have at least 3 pair of shoes. Black shoes, white shoes, and nice black dress shoes. Most men already have these pairs. When buying a new pair of shoes, be sure to select a color that goes with most of your outfits. Always remember to dress to impress because you never know who you will be casually running into that day.

Most people, when they are going out, are expected to dress as nice as possible especially when going out to a club, bar, or lounge. So, when going out for daytime errands, be sure to dress your best. If you run into someone or meet someone by coincidence and you give off the impression that you have a sense of style, especially since it’s only Tuesday afternoon, that impression is going to stick with him or her. Then, when you run into that person out at a social gathering where people are expected to dress well and they see you overdressed as always, they will have no excuse but to believe that you have a great sense of style.

It’s been said that the color of your clothes represents you in a way. For example, red is power, and white is purity. Well here’s a list of colors with the attributes those colors have been known to be associated with.

• ♣ RED- Dominance, power, attention, sexual energy, health, determination, passion, persistence, excitement, strength
• ♣ PINK- Upbeat, good health, calming, friendly, compassionate, faithful, femininity, calm
• ♣ ORANGE- Happy, courageous, successful, enthusiastic, bold, adventuresome, friendliness, warmth, informality, welcoming, movement, energy
• ♣ BROWN- Informal, reliable, approachable, relaxed, stability, earthy
• ♣ YELLOW- Anxiety, alert, optimistic, confident, stimulating, enthusiastic, playful, cheerful, communicative, expressive, intelligent
• ♣ GREEN- Relaxing, compassion, prosperity, prestige, growth, abundance, money, vitality, harmony, efficiency
• ♣ AQUA- motivated, active, dynamic
• ♣ TURQUOISE- Refreshing, cool, imaginative, innovative, youthful
• ♣ BLUE- Loved, high regard, knowledge, authority, trust, serious, responsibility, peace, social status, caring, good health, tranquil, intuitive, happiness, calm, honest, loyalty, integrity
• ♣ LIGHT BLUE- Peaceful, sincere, affectionate
• ♣ INDIGO- Knowledge, power, integrity
• ♣ PURPLE- Spiritual, passionate, visionary, regal, powerful, respected, dignified, luxurious
• ♣ LAVENDER- Romantic, imaginative, fantasy
• ♣ MAGENTA- Outrageous, imaginative, innovative
• ♣ GOLD- Illumination, wisdom, prestige, expensive
• ♣ SILVER- Prestige, cold, scientific
• ♣ BLACK- Elegance, authority, dignity, sophistication, seductive, mystery
• ♣ GRAY- Smart, class, efficiency, sophisticated, confidence
• ♣ WHITE- Virtue, fertility, clean, status, purity

As you are reading this, you are probably starting to realize that most of this makes sense. These are the attributes associated with these colors. Use them to express how you feel that day, or use them for a topic of conversation. Personally, my favorite color is red, and the attributes that I found that are associated with red are pretty good! Although, all these colors have positive attributes. Find the one that looks best on you and most importantly makes you feel great.

When approaching a group, there may be a person you want to meet, someone you want to be introduced to for business purposes, or some other reason. There are some rules you must follow. Initially, you cannot come off as too eager or desperate. You need to come off as cool and a blessing to join the conversation. As excited or interested as you may be, you need to remain calm and confident in order to give this person the opportunity to feel the same way. So remain confident. When you approach the people in the group, see if they are receptive. Then make your presence pleasant. Do not overstep or annoy. Be sure to be funny and make the conversation amongst the group exciting and engaging. With time, this comes naturally.

If you have a window where you can make an introduction, use it. Every situation is different. If you recognize one of the people in the group, you can always find a way to have them casually start conversation with you, which will lead to him or her introducing you to the group. The group approach is difficult and can only be mastered if you put yourself out there. For a challenge, whenever you see a group of the opposite sex of 5 or more, approach them and try to start conversation. This will help you overcome approach-induced anxiety. Since you are the only person of the opposite sex, they won’t immediately reject you, especially because they are with their friends. They are in their comfort zone. It takes serious confidence to approach a big group of the opposite sex, and they will notice that. I’ve realized that with time and practice I have improved my ability to approach groups.

In some cases, you approach a group because you only want to speak to one person, whether it’s due to attraction or promotion. In other cases, it’s a group of 5 people of the opposite sex and you are with 4 of your friends. If this is the case, pick out the leader, or who you think is the leader. Remain confident, keep your posture straight, and articulate your words. The fact that you are approaching a giant group alone shows that you are confident. When speaking to the leader, the majority of the group isn’t listening to you, so they will judge you based on your body language. Remember this for it may benefit you in the future. If you get past the part where you get the leader’s good graces, then you are in the clear. Now you have the ability to go to the rest of the group and start simple conversation. Asking their names or where they are from. Small talk central! As long as you have the right body language and speak clearly with confidence to the people in the group, you’ll be fine!

When approaching a group of 5 or more and you want to ease your way in, I have learned that approaching them all at once can work if they are all bored. Although, another nice, slow, and subtle way to approach a group is to find the person most bored in that group and just strike up conversation with him or her. As long as you are polite and make your presence enjoyable, the other members of the group will surely start conversation with you; they will give you a stare to start a conversation with them; or they may try and eavesdrop to get into yours. Just remember that the friends can be a benefit to you, but they can also become an obstacle. Within just 5 seconds, an obstacle can influence their friend more than you can in 5 minutes. If an obstacle doesn’t want you around their friend, then you are in trouble. So remember to always befriend the target’s friend to reduce the chances of an obstacle.

When approaching a group with someone you want to meet within that group, introduce yourself to everyone first and save the actual person you want to speak to for last. This way, you remember the name of the person you want to talk too since you heard it last. When you do this, you win over the friends, and winning over the friends is crucial to avoiding obstacles! If it is a bunch of girls, you best believe they are going to voice their opinion about you to their friends. If it is a group of guys, sometimes the Alpha’s get a little territorial, and they don’t want you invading their space. Just make sure you make your time swift and pleasant. If they look bored from the beginning you can use that as an opener. You then have an opportunity to grace the group with your company, entertain them, and then extract the initial target you had in mind.